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The average office is all chiefs, no Indians. Secretaries are Administrative Assistants. Clerks are Middle Management. The A/V geeks of yore are now IT techs and make way more than I do. Nowadays the only way to tell who's holding up the rest of the totem pole is through Trial By Coffee. The request starts at a fairly high rung and coils its way down the ranks like a slinky, until it lands at the feet of the poor schmuck who now realizes where the barrel bottoms out.
Keurig has changed all that. It makes coffee brewing so easy, it's the egalitarian breakthrough of the ages. The coffee pot is gone. You just pop in a coffee cartridge and select your cup size, which ranges from diminutive espresso to "OMIGOD, WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME???" caffeine overdose. There are lots of different brands and many different flavors...you could even brew yourself a cup of German Chocolate Cake coffee (but then I would hate you forever).
When the process is this simple, asking someone to fetch you a cup causes tremendous loss of face. The new powerplay move is to say: "I'm getting myself coffee...who wants some," proving one's status is unassailable. Of course everyone says 'no,' but the noble gesture has been made. (For my full guide to successful office fandangoes, send $18 in cash or money order to my P.O. Box, no checks please.)
At home, Keurig is a godsend for those of us who never remember to set the timer the night before and then have to stand around on one foot, face down on the kitchen counter, fists drumming, waiting for the pot to fill. Keurig isn't perfect. In a perfect world, it would have a "You need milk" reminder. But hey, in a perfect world, my jeans would still fit. Get over it.
By the way, if you want THE perfect cup of coffee, you can't have it...not since they quit making the Grinder's Delight. It was more than coffee...it was alchemy, a brew so good I would stand outside and offer sips to strangers who would then wring my hand in gratitude. Alas, after about 15 years, the Grinder's Delight fell apart. Not a single day goes by that I don't remember it and the carefree days we shared. It won't be the same with the Keurig...but is it ever the second time around?
